At a seminar I facilitated with the Indian Ocean
and a monastery on an island in the background.
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If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,
‘thank you,’ that would suffice.
~ Meister Eckhart
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My most challenging relationships during my early days in Somalia were with white men from the US – both those working in Somalia and those working at our home office in the US. They collectively saw me mostly as a loose cannon.

The person in charge of our project in Somalia was from USAID (United States Agency for International Development) and a person from our NGO (non-governmental organization) office in the US didn’t want me to have a meeting with the Somali government minister who oversaw all refugee related work in Somalia. A Somali who had been assigned to our project was his nephew. He and I had had loud ‘words’ and, at one point and he raised his fist at me; he physically threatened me. When the two men from the US understood that I was resolved about having this meeting, both insisted on coming with me. In fact, the person from our NGO in the US had flown in especially to be at this meeting.

The three of us arrived at the Somali government minister’s office together. I had asked them what his office was like. One of the men said, “It is a large room with the minister’s desk on one side and a couch on the other.” I told them that I wanted them to sit on the couch. They’d be able to see and hear everything but I wanted this to be MY meeting.

As it happened, it seems that was the minister’s wish as well. When we entered his office, he ushered the two of them to the couch. To me, he said, “Please” as he indicated a chair that was sitting beside his desk. He sat at his desk. He welcomed all of us and had something brought for us to drink. Then he asked me what was on my mind.

“I never imagined that we would be sitting here together like we are today,” I said. “I wish there had been another way I could think of to resolve the issue. The truth is that I can no longer continue to work with your nephew. I know that raises some complexities for you. Potentially in more ways than I can imagine.”

I continued. “I have considered leaving the project. However, I prefer not to leave without completing my contract. And it occurred to me that it might be best if I first met with you so that, if I do leave, you will understand why. And I am willing to leave if we determine that that is the best solution.”

He had listened intently and generously. A pause. A smile. Then he said, “Thank you for being willing to give us a year of your life! We are all grateful. I am personally grateful for your generosity and willing spirit. Our problems here in Somalia are big. Your willingness to support us through them is a gift beyond measure.”

He went on, “I will have my nephew removed from your project immediately. We will have him assigned to another project and hope it works out better for him there. Thank you very much for coming to speak with me about it. I am grateful that you did not just decide to quit without me ever knowing why.”

He closed with words something like these. (I think they were as much or more for the two men on the couch than they were for me.) “You know, because of my position, sometimes people are hesitant to bring their concerns to me. And, if they don’t, I have to assume that everything is going well. Again, thank you for coming to speak with me. And, even more, for coming to Somalia.” The man was so gracious and kind.

And that was it! There had been no need for either of the two US men to say anything. But, for me, it was wonderful that they had heard everything. As we left, for his generous listening and expressed gratitude, I gave the minister my sincerest and deeply heartfelt “Thank you” in return.

A couple more photos from seminars I facilitated in Somalia.

Photos by Barbara
Mogadishu, Somalia
Scans of 35mm slides